Cultivate! Why won't you cultivate?!?

I simply am not acclimating to Ireland very well. I like much of the atmosphere and many places in Dublin. But I am finding it excruciatingly difficult to make friends. Surprisingly, given Dublin's reputation for great night life, I just can't seem to lure people out of their houses. Literally, I'll extend invitations to people who respond to say they say they are staying home. Or they don't respond at all. I'm becoming a bit frustrated with trying to cultivate friends. It's extremely out of my comfort range to start conversations with strangers and extend invitations. Now I've done this time and again, and I still can't get anywhere with it. I know I've touched on this before, but the issue is still dogging me.

The latest escapade was particularly disappointing. I went to work on my portfolio at a coffee shop after work. On the way there, I saw on a sandwich board outside a pub that the France v. Ireland rugby match would be on later that night. I decided to go back to that pub after working for a bit. This place had a much better, more raucous atmosphere than the couple-y Toast pub where I'd watched the Georgia v. Ireland match, and I was quickly able to strike up conversation. An Irish lad standing near me told another guy, "Here, take this seat." Then he chuckled and said, "A bit of Irish hospitality. And that's about all the hospitality you're going to get." It turns out the lad now seated was French. I started talking to him, asking if he feared for his life cheering for France among Ireland supporters. Eventually I fell in with the rest of his group: two Americans, a Canadian, and the Irish guy. One of the Americans was quite an arse. At the encouragement of someone else, I took his seat while he was gone somewhere. When he came back, he was honestly (and, I think, overly) upset that I'd taken his seat. To the point that the French guy felt compelled to offer his own seat, which American Guy took (I offered to give the seat back, but Canadian Guy said no, I shouldn't). Plus he said American peanut butter was crap. Enough said.

Despite American Guy, the rest of the bunch was great fun. After the match, they invited me to move on to a different pub with them. I had the cab driver drop me off at the final destination, Tram Co, while the boys went to change. I paid my €5 cover and waited for nearly an hour, realising shortly after I'd arrived that I'd lost the inner fleece part of my winter jacket somewhere along the way. Eventually I saw the boys come up to the door, exchange a few words with the bouncers and walk away again. Likely they wouldn't have come in at all, and I would have been sitting there all night had I not spotted them. I went outside to meet them, and they said they were now going to a different pub in Harcourt with a €10 cover. Seeing as I was a bit miffed at already paying €5 to sit in Tram Co for an hour waiting for them to show up, I decided to just go home. The French guy hadn't come back, though I did think I saw him waiting for the train to Malahide on Saturday. In retrospect, I should have found out if indeed it was him, but my shyness got the better of me there.

I do enjoy just talking to people without necessarily seeing them again later. But I would like to have a group of friends here to accompany me on some of my adventures. So how do you convert acquaintances to friends that you invite out to do other things? Be bold and do it, I suppose is the answer. And I will work up to it. But at the moment I'm feeling a bit let down and increasingly isolated.

This is perhaps best demonstrated by my surprising affinity for a small kitty that snuck into the house with me last night. I generally don't like cats. They feel like they don't have any bones, they're aloof and they're sneaky. They tend to seek out places to hide (like under my bed) and then silently slink out, scaring me half to death when I see them out of the corner of my eye. But I really liked the little cat that darted in the door past me yesterday. It ran up the stairs to my flatmate Johnny's room, and I had to go retrieve it. Somehow despite its disconcertingly stretchy skeleton and sharp claws, I desperately wanted to keep it.

But life is full of small ups and downs, and there are islands of contentment and delight in my sea of moroseness. I found my coat when I called at Friday's pub again on Sunday. The kitty slipped in with me when I was returning from salsa class, which I thoroughly enjoyed. And I also received a special personal export of Jif peanut butter, which has been providing daily doses of contentment. Maybe I'll start carrying (and perhaps sharing) the wondrous American peanut butter with me at all times. It's sure to have good cultivating properties.